I Quit Alcohol and Here’s Why
I had just returned home from work, greeted my wife with a kiss and we discussed our dinner plans for the evening. This meal was to be special, after all, we were celebrating the fact that I had just worked my first day at a new job! Now mind you, I had been unemployed for quite some time and things were very tough for us financially, but I kept my head up as I certainly didn’t have an exclusive on this scenario as so many others struggled to find work during the early days of Covid, and beyond.
Sure, I had my Podcast and The Phytogenic Chef™ to help me pass the time and keep my mind occupied, but they were more of a passion play for me not a real income producing venture. I was well over a year into both of these “hobbies” …and it was time to start earning again. So, as you can imagine, we were overjoyed with knowing I had a new path, sense of purpose and a paycheck on the horizon!
Karyn and I always enjoyed a cocktail, (or four), on our balcony as we overlooked the ocean at our condo in Matanzas Inlet, FL. Like a true creature of habit, I eagerly shuffled through the refrigerator to find what style of cold beer I would pair with this special occasion…. Boddingtons it was! I particularly enjoyed this beer because it took me back to my days of working on Mackinac Island Michigan. I would sit at the Round House bar located in the beautiful Mission Point Resort and watch the massive freighters navigate their way through the straights of Mackinac. Nowadays, I watch ocean liners on the horizon navigate their way through the Atlantic. It’s funny how some things change but still stay the same.
I digress…
As Karyn and I sat down to enjoy our beverages of choice, wine for Karyn by the way, we looked at each other with not only joy but like we each had something important to say…I paused, and out of nowhere said, “you know, why don’t we give alcohol a break for a couple of weeks, we’re not getting any younger and we both live this healthy active lifestyle but still have this one vice…” she looked back at me and without hesitation said, “I am 100% in!”. Before we could change our minds, we quickly proceeded to the kitchen sink and poured our drinks down the drain…and in that moment, Karyn and I embarked on a journey that would forever change our lives!
What you just read is an excerpt from a day in my life exactly one year ago from the day I am writing this, May 15th, 2021.
What you don’t have is some context as to why that day was so profound…allow me to provide some insight.
I was four years old when my mother passed away from alcoholism. Sadly, my mother literally drank herself to death at the very young age of 39! I’ll spare you the lifelong altering affects this had on me and sum it up by saying that it sucked, I mean awfully! Growing up without a mother had serious impacts on my development and beyond. Moreover, I was destined to follow in her footsteps…and I did.
I began drinking in high school, not that crazy as most teens experiment with one thing or another. However, my experimental phase didn’t end, it only carried on and it did so in a destructive fashion.
Fast-forward a few years — I had just turned twenty one, the legal drinking age! Although before turning twenty one, I had zero road blocks as it related to hanging out in bars and being served. My friend Sid have given me his old I.D. and I used it everywhere. Which in hindsight is laughable as I am 6’3” and Sid was a solid 5’9” at best and while wearing the most maxed out Nike Airmax’s possible available in 1997!
As I was saying, I had just turned 21 and what better way to celebrate than by getting popped with a DUI. Driving approximately 40 MPH over the speed limit on the rural streets of Cape Coral, FL and only ¼ of a mile away from my doorstep is where the blue and red lights hit me. I pulled over while pouring the beer I was drinking out the driver’s side window, (because that always works when being pulled over by the police). Once I finished sloppily pulling my car somewhat off of the road, I was asked if I had been drinking…and so the show began. Failing miserably on the roadside DUI test, I was ushered to the county hotel to sleep it off with a wonderful new charge awaiting me once I awakened from my alcohol drenched evening. Accompanied by my splitting headache, I waited for the city bus just outside my previous nights hotel. I was off to the impound yard to retrieve my vehicle, it was a painful ride not only because of the pounding headache I was grappling with, but also because reality was settling in and I knew my life was about to drastically change…and in that moment I swore off alcohol. Sadly, that experience didn’t stop me from drinking and while I thankfully never received a second DUI, my destructive path carried on.
Again, I’ll spare you from digesting my twenties, thirties and early forties by summing it up with this — denial is a powerful force, and in my case it led me to believe that I was doing just fine. After all, I had overcome so many obstacles in my life — the loss of both parents, growing up destitute and even most recently, the loss of a dear friend to, yup you guessed it — alcoholism.
I’ll keep it brief, but the loss of my friend hit me hard, I mean like a baseball bat to the jaw kinda hit me hard! He was fine one day, and the next day being rushed to the hospital with unbearable internal pain. Diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver he was given a maximum of six months to live out the remainder of his life. I’ll never forget that call…my dear friend Craig, who was a stoic man, gave me the news — “Knox, I have something to tell you….”.
Over the next several months I helped walk my friend, metaphorically, back home. That path is forever etched into my being. It was such a sad and awful thing to watch another human go through, I don’t wish it on to anyone. I suppose it hit me extra heavy because I had experienced firsthand the suffering one goes through when dying from alcoholism and I was now able to fully imagine my mother going through the same thing as Craig. Absolutely gripping!
It was that tragedy that initiated the sincere thought of quitting alcohol.
Sure, I had gone on “breaks” before, things like ‘Sober October’ or even ‘Dry January’, but I always came back and in most cases, even stronger. Post Craigs passing, I grappled with myself for eight months, it was not an easy battle. What was easy, was feeding myself the line that I was beating the odds. But was I? I mean here I was, 43 years old and still drinking despite all of the aforementioned life lessons to steer me in a different direction, and for what? Don’t get me wrong, I had some laughs and great times while out drinking but something had to give, and alcohol didn’t serve a true purpose in my life anymore. In fact, it was quite the opposite, it had been the source of much suffering throughout my life.
On May 15th, 2020 I put words into the universe, and like all words, I created a ripple that set forth a destiny. This time I took the wheel! I felt an undeniable sense of commitment to honor my mother, my friend Craig and… myself, in a way that would have positive consequences, not the aforementioned suffering. I am humbled and grateful beyond words to say, I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since that day. Today marks one year alcohol free. I didn’t put a time frame on quiting or jump in on a catchy cause…I just stopped.
Since quitting alcohol my life has taken a severe positive upward trajectory. Most notably, I found my true self. At my core, I am a happy and caring human; I love nature and being altruistic. While drinking, these traits lie dormant beneath my constant hangover and took a backseat to some not so wonderful traits. Additionally, my mind cleared, and I became sharper in my everyday thoughts, thus creating better actions. My health also improved and so did my relationships, especially my marriage. I found a new career and now work for an amazing company that helps to fight alcoholism and supports healthy and active lifestyles, thus allowing me to walk my true path without compromise.
Every day I feel as though I am evolving and learning how to be the best version of myself, I hope that it lasts until I take my last breath, many years from now.
I will close with this; my mission in this life is to serve humanity in a positive way. I hope that by opening up and allowing myself to be completely vulnerable, I will help someone get over the hump by confronting their personal battle head on, and with tenacity!
Peace Love Plants
~Marco
